Sung to the tune of:

These Are A Few Of My Favourite Things

Maalox and nose drops and needles for knittin',

Walkers and handrails and new dental fittin's,

All those old magazines tied up with string,

These are a few of my favourite things.

Cadillac's, cataracts, hearing aids, glasses,

Polident, Fixodent, false teeth in glasses,

Pacemakers, golf carts, and porches with swings,

These are a few of my favourite things.

When the pipes leak,

When the bones creak,

When the knees go bad...

Then I remember my favourite things...

And then I don't feel so bad.

Hot tea and crumpets, and corn pads for bunions,

No spicy hot food or no food cooked with onions,

Bathrobes and heat pads and hot meals they bring,

These are a few of my favourite things.

Back pains, confused brains, and no fear of sinnin',

Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinnin'.

And we won't mention our short shrunken frames...

When we remember our favourite things.

When the joints ache,

When the hips break,

When the eyes grow dim,

Then I remember the great life I've had...

And then I don't feel so bad.

THEN I REMEMBER THE GREAT LIFE I'VE HAD...

AND THEN I DON'T FEEL -------- SOOOO BAAAAD!