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- Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavours and dishwashing liquid
made with real lemons?
- Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
- Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
- Why isn't there mouse-flavoured cat food?
- When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
- Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
- Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
- Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
- Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?
- If Jimmy cracks corn, and no one cares, why is there a song about it?
- Why is an alarm clock going "off" when it actually turns on?
- If love is blind, how can we believe in love at first sight?
- Why is it that raindrops, but snowfalls?
- What was the best thing before sliced bread?
- If a drug store is open 24 hours, why are there locks on the doors?
- If you make a cow laugh, will milk come out its nose?
- Who was the first to see a cow and think "I wonder what will happen if i
squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out?"
- If a schizophrenic threatens suicide, is it declared a hostage situation?
- If a tree falls on a mime in the woods, and there's no one there to hear
it, does the mime make a sound?
- We know about the speed of light, but what is the speed of darkness?
- How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
- Do three headed fire dragons have heated arguments with themselves?
- Why exactly is there a snow-globe with summer scenes?
- If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do they all have to drown?
- Why is minimalism such a big word?
- If buttered bread always lands on the butter-side down and a cat always
lands on its feet, what happens if you strap buttered bread to a cat's back?
- Why do ballerinas stand on their toes? Can't they just get taller women?
- Do fish get thirsty?
- How do blind people know when they are done wiping?
- If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
- If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash,
why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff?
- If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
- Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
- If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain
silent?
- Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
- How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
- Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it?
- Why are haemorrhoids called "haemorrhoids" instead of "asteroids"?
- Why do people order a double cheeseburger, large fries, and a diet
soda?
- Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected the expected?
- Why are there five syllables in the word "monosyllabic"?
- How is it that "Fat Chance" and "Slim Chance" mean the same thing?
- Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
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