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- When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, 'Did you sleep good?' I
said, 'No, I made a few mistakes.'
- How did a fool and his money get together in the first place?
- Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavouring, and dishwashing liquid made
with real lemons?
- If a mute kid swears, should his mother wash his hands with soap?
- When an evil masochist dies does he go to hell, or would heaven be a better
punishment?
- What was the best thing before sliced bread?
- Do people in Australia, call the rest of the world, "Up Over" ?
- Was it somebody's cruel idea to put an "S" in the word "LISP" ?
- I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.
- Should crematoriums give discounts to burn victims?
- If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold
tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
- If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still
wrong?
- If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?
- Is it true cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
- Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've
forgotten this before.
- I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was
locking the front door. I said, 'Hey, the sign says you're open 24 hours.' He
said, 'Yes, but not in a row.'
- Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?
- If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
- If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happen if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
- Why isn't the word, 'phonetically' spelled with an ' f '?
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