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Q. What kind of work
does a weak cat do? A. Light mousework...
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Q. What is a pencil
without lead? A. Pointless...
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Q. How did the butcher
introduce his wife? A. Meat Patty!
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Q. Why do men fart more
than women? A. Because a woman
can't shut up long enough to build up pressure.
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Q. Did you hear about
the Jewish person who opened a Japanese restaurant? A. It's called Sosumi.
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Q. What tastes good on
pie but not on pussy? A. The crust...
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Q.
What kind of monster is safe to put in the washing machine? A.
A wash and wear wolf.
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Q.
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? A.
Claustrophobic!
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Q.
What did the wife do when she found out her husband was gay? A.
She turned around and took it like a man.
-
Q.
Why is sex is like software? A.
For every one who pays for it, there are hundreds getting it free…
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Q. How do you keep a
skeleton from laughing? A. Take away his funny
bone!
-
Q.
Did you hear about The Seven Dwarfs' hot tub party? A.
Everyone was feeling bashful… so the poor buggar got out.
-
Q.
Why did the blond stop wearing a training bra? A.
The wheels were irritating her armpits.
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Q.
What does a snail shout, when riding on a turtle's back? A.
WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
-
Q.
Did you hear about the two antennas that got married? A.
The wedding was crap, but the reception was great!
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Q. What do Disney World
& Viagra have in common? A. They both make you
wait an hour for a two minute ride.
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Q. What's better than a rose on your piano? A. Tulips on your organ.
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Q. Why don't witches wear panties when flying on their
broomsticks? A. Better Traction.
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Q. What did the daddy buffalo say to the baby buffalo before he went to work?
A. "Bison".
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Q. What's the definition of gross?
A. Dreaming you're eating chocolate pudding, and then waking up to find a spoon
in your arse… (ugh!)
