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Q. What did Bill Clinton say to Monica? A. I told you to lick my erection,
not wreck my election.
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Q. What is The Clinton legacy?
A. Its eight years of sex, between the Bushes…
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Q. What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and
contains a thin whitish liquid? A. A Coconut
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Q. Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? A. Because a
woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to
support you.
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Q. Why do men fart more than women? A. Because women can't shut up long
enough to build up the required pressure!
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Q. What food have
scientists discovered that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%? A. Wedding Cake.
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Q. Why do men die
before their wives? A. They want to.
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Q. How do you turn
a fox into an elephant? A. Marry it!
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Q. What's the
difference between a lawyer and a lab rat? A. There are just
some things that a rat won't do.
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Q. What is the
difference between a battery and a woman? A. A battery has a
positive side!
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Q. A true blond
and a bleached blond are on the empire state building - how do you know
which one is the true blond? A. The one throwing bread crumbs at helicopters…
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Q. "Mommy,
what's a lesbian?" A. "Go ask Daddy - she'll know."
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Q.
What do you called a lesbian with long fingernails? A. Single…
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Q. Do you know how
the word *fart* came to be? A. It is an acronym for Finely Articulated Rectal Tremor
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Q. Why don't
anteaters get sick? A. Because they're
full of anty-bodies!
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Q. Back in the old
days there was a man who rides into town on Friday, leaves the town on
Friday, but only stays in town for three days. How did he do it? A. He rode a horse
named Friday!
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Q. What goes “oooo
oooo”? A. A cow with no
lips…
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Q.
What's the difference between a pickpocket and a Peeping Tom? A.
The pickpocket snatches your watch…
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Q: What's the
difference between a girlfriend and a wife? A: 45 lbs.
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Q: What's the
difference between a boyfriend and a husband? A: 45 minutes.
