Mr. Fix It

Tried to tackle some DIY last week.

HA! Big mistake.

Forgot to turn the water off,

The plumber liked it,

My living room ‘lake’.

And then there was the screw,

Must have tightened it up…..

A l-I-t-t-l-e too tight.

The screw ‘top’ broke off.

Shot upwards.

Hit the ceiling fan, and exploded the light.

So, with the electric switched off (I thought),

I put a new bulb in.

Of course, it was dark - used a hand lamp.

It bloody hurt, when my head shot through the ceiling,

Shock you see….. Electric WAS on.

Everything was damp.

Well. I eventually fixed the light…..

Then plastered the ceiling.

But, I had it mixed wrong,

Came down in lumps…..

Couldn't stop it bloody peeling!

And when I fell off the damn ladder…..

I’ve called a builder in. To save face.

Think it might be safer if I go on holiday…..

Now, where did I put that suitcase?

© 1995 TSSK